Tech's "Rally"? More Like a Dead Cat Bounce Before the Next Plunge
So, the market's up. Again. We're supposed to be thrilled because the Dow, S&P, and Nasdaq all had a "winning week." Let's be real, folks. That's like celebrating a slightly less painful root canal. It's still a root canal.
The excuse this time? Some "cooling issue" at a data center messed with trading at the Chicago Mercantile Exchange. Right. A "cooling issue." Sounds like a PR-friendly way of saying "utter chaos and incompetence," doesn't it? Makes you wonder what other ticking time bombs are lurking inside these so-called "sophisticated" systems. You know, the ones *we're* all supposed to trust with our life savings.
And speaking of trust, remember all the hype about AI? How it was gonna solve world hunger and give us self-folding laundry? Now, suddenly, there's "doubt swirled around the future profitability of AI companies." Doubt? Give me a break. It was always a house of cards built on venture capital fairy dust and the desperate need for tech bros to find the next shiny object. Maybe I'm the crazy one here, but did anyone *really* think AI was going to be churning out profits this quickly?
Rate Cut: More Like a Rigged Game
The "Rate Cut" Mirage
Then there's the whole "interest-rate cut" narrative. Apparently, Wall Street's all giddy because they think the Fed's gonna lower rates next month. Over an 80% probability, they're saying. That's what the "markets" are pricing in.
"Markets are pricing in..." Translation: a bunch of algorithms are reacting to slightly-less-awful data and creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of optimism. It's like those morons who all pile to one side of the boat, and then act shocked when it tips over.
And who's on Trump's shortlist to replace Powell? Kevin Hassett, the White House's top economic advisor. Oh goody. Another political hack with zero understanding of actual economics. I'm sure that'll inspire confidence.
Honestly, the whole thing feels like a rigged game. The data's massaged, the narratives are spun, and the average Joe is left holding the bag when the music stops.
Black Friday for Stocks: A Frenzy of Empty Enthusiasm
Black Friday's False Dawn
Oh, and it's the day after Thanksgiving, too. Which means trading volumes are low, so any little blip gets amplified into a "rally." It's basically the stock market equivalent of Black Friday—a frenzy of shallow enthusiasm masking a deeper sense of emptiness and regret.
Stock market today: Dow, S&P 500, Nasdaq rally into Thanksgiving, notch best 4-day stretch since May
And ofcourse, markets were closed Thursday for Thanksgiving. A day of thanks? What are we supposed to be thankful for? The privilege of watching our retirement accounts get whipsawed by algorithms and political maneuvering?
I swear, every time I think this clown show can't get any more ridiculous, they find a way to top themselves.
So, What's the Real Story?
The market's a casino, run by clowns and rigged for the house. Anyone who thinks otherwise is either delusional or trying to sell you something.
